Torn
by ThatCuteRedhead
Summary: Fic that begins at the end of Season 2, Addek, Azzie, possibly some FinnMere. Chapter 9 added!
1. Chapter 1 The Longest Night

**Hello all possible future faithful readers. I am very glad that you have decided to read this little fic of mine. I did this under great pressure from my Addek friends, so this obviously will most likely end up being an Addek fic to please you all. I love suggestions and comments and reviews and criticisms. So please review or tell me what you think on MSN. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not posses the rights to these amazing characters. Yes, it is unfortunate. But please don't sue me.**

Chapter 1 - "The Longest Night"

_It's been a long dark night alright_

_  
I've been running on a low love light_

_  
Maybe the longest night_

_  
Maybe it's over, over tonight_

-_The Longest Night by Bruce Hornsby_

It had been merely moments since the prom had come to an abrupt stop. Richard slowly headed towards the staircase - the very one that Izzie had just descended. From the top he could just see her slumped figure walk through the automatic doors, flanked on either side by respectfully-close Alex and George. He hung his head and shook it a bit, sighing to himself at the sight of the broken intern. The deep breath he took did not give him the immediate perspective he had hoped for. Lifting his head again, he began his descent into the lobby below.

Addison and Bailey exchanged anxious looks before doing an about-face towards the elevators. The two walked in silence, albeit the click of their heels was to be heard on the linoleum floor, for a few seconds before Bailey finally spoke.

"So, uh, where are you headed to, Addison?" she asked, her voice lacking its usual Nazi tone.

A few more seconds of silence passed and when the two women had reached the elevator, "The locker room, I suppose," Addison replied as she reached to press the "up" button.

"Sounds like a good plan to me," Bailey sighed, "Wait…where is that overly-charmin' husband of yours? He _did _escort you to the prom, _right_?"

Addison chuckled a bit at her friend's obvious distaste for Derek before she said, "Yes. Yes, he did 'escort' me, but he had to leave early to check on a patient. Why do these elevators always take so long?"

"I have no idea," Bailey said in turn, her normally caustic tone having fully returned to her voice. She paused a moment before offering, "Well, do you need a ride home?"

"No, no no. Thanks anyways, though. I drove my own car here this morning. I'll just make a quick change into someth- " Addison paused as she stopped dead in her tracks. "Wait. Oh damnit!...My keys are in my purse. I left it sitting in a chair next to my drink. I'll have to go find it and hope it's still there."

Bailey quickly offered to join Addison, but by this time the elevator doors had opened and were threatening to shut once more.

"It's OK," Addison assured her, "It'll just take me a second. I will see you up there, OK? As long as this elevator ever comes back for me, that is."

"Alright then, suit yourself. I'll be seeing you later, Addie," Bailey said, the name barely audible even as she craned her neck towards the crack in the closing doors.

Richard stepped off the final step and readjusted his tie as he approached the large group that was slow-dancing to soft, sparkling lights. He was sure that _someone_ had seen the girl in the long pink gown flee the hospital crying. He was also sure that with the well-oiled mechanics of the hospital rumor mill the entire story would be known to all by morning, with the truth lost somewhere in translation. Nonetheless, tonight he wanted to appear as though nothing had happened. The sight of his niece gazing longingly into her boyfriend's eyes as she snuggled closer to him caused a smile to form on his previously-frowning face. The happiness he felt for that fleeting moment made him feel only worse about what he was about to have to do. He approached the DJ, whispered something to him under his headphones, and after a nod took the mic.

"Ah hem," he began by clearing his throat, "I'm very sorry to dis-".

He was cut short by Camille, whom he hadn't even noticed approaching the DJ stand. "Excuse me, Uncle Richard. I have something I want to say."


	2. Chapter 2 What Hurts the Most

**OK here's Chapter 2. I'm sorry it took soooo long. I had major writer's block. I finally got some inspiration last week, but I don't love this chapter. It's just a bridge to the good stuff, so forgive me.**

Disclaimer: Yadda Yadda Yadda...they're not mine...blah don't sue blah...

**Chapter 2**

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing tha loving you_

_Is was I was trying to do_

_-What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts_

The silence that filled the hallway as Addison made her way back towards the hospital lobby was eerie, to say the least. Even the music from the prom which once could be heard floating through the corridors had stopped. The sound of the click of her heels was the same as it was just moments ago, but without her friend's presence her mind wandered back to the event which had taken place no more than five minutes before. Izzie Stevens had shown potential. She had that extra something, that same something that Addison herself had all those years ago. It was such a shame, she thought, that it would end like this for such a talented young doctor.

Addison had kept her eyes to the floor, watching her toes appear out from under her gown and then dissappear once more under the veil of red. She came to the corner of the hallway and once more was upon the place she had just left, this time hearing voices as she neared. Just before she rounded the corner, it registered to her exactly whose voices she heard: Meredith and Derek. Something inside her told her to wait before showing herself, and so instead she waited behind the corner, listening to what was being said.

"Finn, please understand...no, don- Finn!"

"Mere, you don't have to explain yourself-"

"No, Derek. Actually, I'd love to hear what she has to say."

The last voice was one she hadn't heard while apporaching. Finn Dandridge, a normally very calm and reserved man, seemed to be very upset over something, and Addison quickly decided that waiting around the corner had been a good decision. She contemplated peering around the corner, but decided against it, not trusting that someone wouldn't see her.

"Finn, I'm so sorry. I...I...wasn't thinking...I just-"

"You weren't thinking? So that's what it was to you? Not thinking? Glad to hear it, Meredith."

"Derek, just stop. OK? Just - stop."

"Obviously, Derek, this meant more to you than it did to Meredith. Meredith, let's just go home. We can talk about this there."

"No, Finn...I, I can't."

Addison's heart pounded in her chest. Was she hearing what she thought she was hearing? _No, no_, she told herself, _that's crazy. I just came into the conversation at a weird time._ But for some reason, she couldn't get the courage to walk into the heated debate. It was like some invisible hand was holding her back, keeping her from making some huge mess.

"Finn, please don't misunderstand. I love you, I really do. And I know you have plans. I love plans; I need plans. But I also love Derek."

Her heart had stopped. She was sure of it. Addison's face grew hotter and hotter and the the sense that she was about to faint was overhwhelming her. _What's happening?_ she asked herself. It couldn't be true. Now she was sure she couldn't go around the corner. She could just stay there all night, avoiding everyone and everything. She closed her eyes tight and leaned her head back as she rested herself against the wall.

"Meredith, I...I love you, too."

There was no mistaking it. The voice which had just uttered those words was none other than Derek Shepherd's. The tears began to fall without thought and her limp body sank slowly to the cold floor. Addison was now positive that her heart had stopped. How could it possibly still be beating, now that it was broken?

"Thank you, Uncle Richard," Camille said, her hand now grasping the microphone. All eyes were on her. Now that she actually stood there, speaking didn't seem to have the same appeal it had held only a minute ago. She glanced to the side to see that her Uncle Richard was standing apprehensively to her right, obviously tossing about the possibilities in his mind of what she possibly could have to say.

"I just wanted to say that I couldn't have asked for a better prom, " she began hesistantly, "It really is everything I ever wanted." The look on her Uncle's face quickly soothed to something like relief, and she smiled at him. "I know it was hard for you to turn your hospital lobby into a dance floor, so I can't thank you enough. I love you, Uncle Richard."

The crowd all let out a cooing, "Awww" before returning to silence to hear what else she had to say.

"I started a checklist a few years ago, back when I first found out I had cancer. It was a list off all the things I was proud of in my life, and all the things I wanted to accomplish before...before I died. I was proud I made the honor roll in middle school, that I learned to swim, that I taught my dog to fetch, that I had learned to french braid my hair, that I had a best friend, that I could walk to school alone, and that I had an amazing aunt and uncle. I wished that I would go to college, fall in love, have a daughter named Maria, be valedictorian, drink wine in Paris, ride in a hot air balloon, and have one day that I could truly call the best day of my life. Well, I think it's fair to say that I have accomplished two of those things and that I can add them to my list of things I'm proud of. I really have had the best day of my life, Uncle Richard. And I have fallen in love. I think that is a life well-lived, and I don't know about you all, but I would say that's something to be proud of itself."

The crowd was silent as Camille handed the microphone back to her Uncle, and it was clear he was teary-eyed from her speech. She returned to her spot next to her boyfriend, wrapped her arms around his neck, and as the music returned as a soft and slow melody, she danced closer than she ever had before.

**And there you have it. Review please! It makes me want to write :)**

**PS - the next update will be soon, I promise!**


	3. Chapter 3 It Don't Matter To The Sun

**So here it is, as promised. Chapter 3. I love the Alex/Izzie interaction in this, but my Addek development has, well, not developed. Oh well. Next Chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, you get it.**

**Chapter 3**

_Cause to them, it makes no difference_

_It just keeps on keeping time_

_Cause it ain't gonna stop the world_

_It'll be the end of mine_

_So what can I say?_

_What can I do?_

_I'm still in love._

_Why aren't you?_

_-It Don't Matter To the Sun by Rosie Thomas_

Izzie quickened her pace as she walked through the parking lot at Seattle Grace.

"Iz," George called out behind her, "Iz, come on, let me drive you home." He shot a quick look over in Alex' direction as if he was suspecting some sort of retribution for his offer. A sense of surprise flooded him when he caught not an evil glare, but rather a nodding approval. He returned his attention to Izzie, who was now a good fifteen feet ahead.

"No!" She wailed, loudly enough that anyone else in the parking lot was sure to become alarmed. Suddenly she stopped, taking both Alex and George by surprise, bending down and taking off both heels. Alex ran to catch up while he still had the opportunity. George quickly began after them, but upon seeing Izzie turn towards Alex he thought better of it.

Izzie held her pair of silver heels in her left hand, closing her fist around them and clenching it tight. Not only was she out of breath from power-walking in the three-inch stillettos, but in true Seattle fashion, it had begun to rain. Alex approached her from behind. Izzie dropped her head, not yet prepared to look Alex in the eye. By now the rain had strengthened from a drizzle to a steady downpour, and the remaining mascara which hadn't yet run from tears began to streak down her face, tracing her cheekbones with a thick black line.

"Izzie," Alex began, "I -" He trailed off. There was no need to continue. Izzie had dropped her heels onto the pavement and without looking up had thrown her arms around Alex's shoulders and buried her face deep into his chest. As she began to sob, taking quick, short gasps of air to catch her breath, he gently wrapped his arms around her, too. George looked on silently as the two rocked back and forth slowly, before Alex released his hold on Izzie to take of his jacket. He pulled out the carnation which was stuck in the buttonhole of his blazer and handed it Izzie, who for the first time was looking up at him. A glimmer of a smile could be seen appearing on her coral lips for a fleeting moment. He pulled her close to his side and swung the jacket over both of their heads and led her to his car.

George titled his head back and closed his eyes. There had been so much drama in the last year, but tonight took the cake for sure. He walked over to where Izzie had dropped her shoes and bent to pick them up. As he lifted his head and began to stand up, he could see the tailights of Alex's car pull out of the parking lot and disappear down the road. He righted himself and turned to walk to his own car, thankful that the night was over.

_"Meredith...I, I love you, too."_

Finn stood watching in horror the scene which was playing out before him. Only forty minutes ago he was professing his love for this woman, dancing with her, telling her that he had plans. He took a few steps backwards before he turned to walk towards the adjacent hallway. It was like one of those nightmares where something is chasing you and you can't run any faster despite how hard you try; his feet just wouldn't seem to move him away quick enough.

Addison had since gathered herself together and stood with tears still streaming down her face. She walked as silently as possible back towards the elevators. It was strange the feeling that she had. She wanted so badly to go over to Derek and slap him, but her conscience was compelling her to avoid him at all costs. _He left me without a word_, she told herself,_ why should I do any different for him?_

Tonight, however, would not prove to be her lucky night. As Addison neared the elevators, she could hear footsteps approaching her from behind. She shook her head in disbelief but continued on towards the elevator. Not bothering to see who was approaching, she pressed the 'up' button and focused in on the numbers lighting up above her. When the footsteps finally stopped, a voice called out for her.

"Addison," Finn said, his voice an uncanny mixture of empathy and sadness. She turned to face him and although her eyes were red and puffy, she looked him directly in the eye. "Finn," she said back, with a perfect match of his tone.

"I'm so sorry, Addison," he told her. That was all he could say. No more words came to mind that thought could properly fill the silence.

"Yeah, me too," Addison whispered, staring at the floor. A few seconds passed before the silence was broken by more unwelcome footsteps. The two exchanged looks and shifted uncomfortably before turning back towards the elevators, praying they would open before...

"Finn, please, let me talk to you. It doesn't have to be like this!" Meredith announced as she approached the pair. Addison read her face and found that it actually possessed a tiny bit of guilt. Finn still faced the elevator doors, which, as in any occasion that required a speedy departure, were still closed. He didn't even acknowledge her, as though what she had just said had actually never been uttered.

"Finn," Meredith whimpered, sounding even more sincere than before, "Please, please! I am standing here, _begging_ you to listen to me. There are things we need to talk about!" Her voice cracked on the last word and Addie could see her eyes begin to tear up. _She really is sorry_, she thought to herself. Derek, who had been silent until this point, finally spoke.

"Addison," he whispered, "we need to talk, too." She dropped her head when he spoke. _Figures,_ she spoke silently to herself, _no guilt there._ The tears began to fill her eyes once more, and this time it was just too much. As she took one staggering short breath, she quickly turned from the elevator doors and began to head back towards the stairs. She walked as fast as her high heels would allow, taking a couple of jogging steps every now and then to spped things up.

At the elevators, Derek closed his eyes and exhaled deeply before turning towards where Addison had just gone and began after her. By the time he reached the stairs, she was already at the bottom. Not wanting to cause a scene for the second time in two days, he simply put his hand on the railing and went as quickly as possible down the stairs._ God, she can certainly go fast for wearing high heels_, he laughed to himself. His laughter promptly ended when he reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Addie's figure rush off into the storm outside. As he passed through the automatic doors into the parking lot, only one thought came to his mind: _Here we go._

**So there it is. Please review, and don't feel bad about bad reviews. I have a feeling they're coming. But if I know people read, I will right more. :)**


	4. Chapter 4 Tonight I Wanna Cry

**Chapter 4. Yes, it is very short, I know. But I think I write much better in little bursts rather than long chapters. I actually like this Chapter. WARNING: Some strong language.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Don't sue.**

**Chapter 4**

_I've never been the kind_

_To ever let my feelings show_

_I thought that being strong_

_Meant never loosing your self-control_

_-Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban_

The night was approaching a theme; the only escape at Seattle Grace was dashing through the front doors into the rain waiting outside.

Addison had plenty of experience in high heels, there was no doubt about that. She walked even more briskly in a pair of pumps than most people walked in sneakers. Tonight, however, she couldn't seem to make her legs carry her fast enough. There was a numbness to her body that she had felt only a few times earlier in her life. The rain still fell at a substantial rate, making lights in the distance blurred and sounds muted below the downpour. Derek easily caught up with her, his breathing barely heavy at his approach.

"Addie, Addie, I..." He called to her, raising his voice above the raindrops' thud on the pavement.

"No!" She exclaimed, her voice carrying more exasperation than sorrow. She continued forward without flinching.

"Jesus Addison, just turn around and talk to me!" Derek shouted, now becoming breathless from the effort he was exerting to out-yell both Addison and the rainfall.

At this she turned around, furrowed her brow, and cocked her head, all the while imploring, "Goddamn it, Derek! What do you want? Do you want to give me some fucking lecture on my deficient merits as a wife? Do you want to explain why lying to me and sneaking off to screw Meredith is less adulterous than me screwing Mark? I can't wait to hear it. Go ahead. Tell me! You're the brain surgeon here!"

Derek found himself taken aback, although Addison's sudden outburst really didn't surprise him; She was never one to keep her mouth shut when she was angry. He shook his head and looked down at the ground, taking a few steps towards her.

"I don't want to lecture you, Addie," He softened his voice, discarding the furor but still maintaining an audible level of speech. Addison was quick to note that it still lacked any sign of guilt. He raised his head to look her in the eye. "I don't want to lecture you. And what I did is just as adulterous as what you did, maybe even more so. But I thought you would be the one person who could understand!"

Her eyes widened at his last statement. _Understand? Where was his understanding when it was me who was cheating? _"I'm at a loss for words, Derek. Honestly, did you really think that I would understand? You certainly had some high expectations! I guess I'm just not 'pious' enough to understand how you cheating on me is forgivable. Please, remind me when you forgave me. I can't seem to remember."

_OK, she raises a good point_, he thought to himself. "I never did. Even before...before Mark, when we had arguments, those last few years. We would make up afterwards, but really? Forgiving you? It's been a long time." It was the first time he was being open and honest to her since her appearance in Seattle, and despite the hurtful words he had just said, he felt like a great burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

The tears began to fill Addison's eyes once again. She had known all his lies, all his secrets, for so long. But now they weren't lies and secrets anymore. They were the truth, and it stung. The two looked in opposite directions for a few moments before Addison finally spoke.

"Derek, do you love me?" She returned her gaze to his face and he met it with his. His eyes searched hers, looking for an answer. For the first time that night, he actually looked sorry. The hope in her stare killed him inside. He shook his head and without looking away, answered her.

"It's been a long time."

Finn looked at Meredith, feeling more betrayed than ever. He searched her face for any sign that she still loved him. Reading people was not one of his strong points, but he could easily tell that what she felt for him was not love.

Meredith sniffled a bit, her eyes drying up a bit. "Finn, please, I just want you to understand!"

"Understand? Seriously?" He chuckled at her absurd assumption.

"Yes! Understand! Don't you want me to be happy?" She beseeched, not believing that he could possibly be laughing at her.

"Before tonight, Meredith, I wanted the world for you. Now? I'm not so sure." He told her, stepping into the elevator that had finally opened, revealing it's empty contents. He pushed the button marked "lobby" and looked back at her, eyes glassy and red, and returned his gaze to his shoes. The doors to the elevator closed and Meredith stood still, soaking up his words.

**OK, told you it was short! PLEASE review and let me know what you thought! More soon, I promise!**


	5. Chapter 5 What About Love

**Once again, I am sooo sorry that this update took forever. I have had this story planned out forEVER but school isn't very forgiving this year (it's my Senior year - forgive me). Anyways, this update is super short because I am actually already writing the next chapter. **

**I also wanted to let you all know that I do read your reviews and comments, and I have even worked in a couple of y'all's suggestions into the plot. So, keep 'em coming!**

**Chapter 5**

_What if I took my time to love you?_

_What if I put no one above you?_

_What if I did the things that really mattered?_

_What if I ran through hopes of disaster?_

_No one would care if we had never made it._

_We're in this alone, so why don't we face it?_

_There is no room to blame one another,_

_We just need time to forgive each other._

_What about love?_

_What about feeling?_

_What about all the things that make life worth living?_

_- What About Love by Lemar_

A twig crunched under the tire as Alex pulled his Explorer into the driveway of Meredith's house. He pulled the car into park and reached up to turn off the ignition. The ride back to Izzie's place had been only a mere fifteen minutes, yet the silence that permeated the car had proven that time can indeed stand still, or it could at least seem that way. Alex swung his arm around the back of Izzie's seat and took in her profile. It didn't seem like Izzie at all, at least, not the Izzie he knew. Her hair was dripping, her mascara no longer on her eyes but rather on her cheeks. Her lips were parted a bit and he had to look closely at her chest to see that she was still breathing. Her eyes were fixed ahead at the light next to the garage door. Silence was never one of Alex's strong suits, but just in that moment, he had no idea what to say. He returned his arms to his side, pulled the keys from the ignition, and opened the door. It was still drizzling outside, but the trees around the house provided at least some shelter.

He approached her door and paused, almost hesitating, as he placed his fingers on the handle. He swallowed and pulled on the handle, opening the door to reveal a girl who looked more like a child's tattered and worn rag doll than the priceless, porcelain keepsake that she really was. Her hands were folded in her lap, tightly gripping nothing. He moved his hand from the handle to hers and gently rubbed small circles on the back of it with his thumb. She said nothing but took in a quick, deep breath and closed he lips.

"Izzie" He began, "Please, come inside with me."

"He's really gone, isn't he?" She asked him. Alex's heart sank when she spoke. She was like a child that honestly didn't know the answer, yet he knew that deep down she had already answered it herself. "Yeah, Iz, he's really gone." The words had come without thought, without any planning. He couldn't believe he said it, _He's really gone_. He quickly turned his head, waiting for the repercussions of his words. Nothing.

"Thanks, Alex." She responded, her voice lacking even the slightest hint of sarcasm. Alex was surprised, but even more, he was relieved. He reached across her lap and unbuckled her seatbelt, touched her cheek, and lifted her from her seat. "Let's go inside."

--

Thunder cracked in the distance as Addison approached her SUV. It wasn't until she pulled on the handle and the door had not opened that she realized she didn't have her key. "Damn it!" She cursed out loud to no one. _I never went back to pick up my purse_. As if proms from her high school days didn't provide enough awful, if laughable, memories, this night certainly wasn't going her way. She turned around, leaned her shoulders back against the side of the car, and decided what she should do next. _Well, I'm certainly not going back in th..._ . Her thoughts her interrupted by a friendly, familiar voice.

"Someone just can't escape." Finn's word's rose above the rain, which was actually dying down now that she was thoroughly soaked. "Seems like I'm not the only one." Addison responded, once again standing on her own two feet and walking over to him. He wasn't nearly as wet as she was, so she gathered that he must have stayed inside for a while. Probably talking to her.

"So, why haven't you gotten inside that car and driven away yet?" He asked her, pointing to her car while speaking.

"Well, because God apparently hates me today and I left my way out inside that place right there." Addison replied, motioning to the hospital that loomed brightly in the distance behind Finn.

"Ah, I see. So, it's not just because you love the rain?"

She laughed, "No, it's certainly not that."

"Well then, may I give you a ride? Home, perhaps? Maybe a hotel?" Finn beseeched, pulling out a set of keys from the pocket of his tux.

Addison laughed again. "As long as you don't drive a convertible."

--

Leaning up against a column in the lobby, Seattle Grace's head of neurosurgery looked anything but put together. Derek took a sip of the punch he held in his hand and grimaced when the warm liquid slid down his throat. He had watched the people of the crowd dancing, alternately swaying and picking up the pace as the music changed. He had been out there only an hour ago, dancing with his wife. She had looked stunning in her red dress and for a moment he had even been happy. But there she was, dancing with him, and suddenly all he could think about was her. Now things had gone terribly wrong, and he snapped back to reality as a teenage girl brushed past him on her way to the restrooms. He realized he was still gripping the warm glass of punch and went to place it on the table.

Derek sat the glass down and noticed that just a little ways down the table was a purse he recognized. Addie loved that purse and used it often when they went out to dinner. Back when they still went out together. He picked up the purse and opened it, revealing its contents. There was her hospital badge, her tube of cranberry crème lipstick, a stick of gum, her car keys, and her driver's license. When most people's license photos looked more like mug shots, Addison's was flawless. _She can't get far without this_, He thought, and it suddenly occurred to him that she would have to come look for it. _The locker room. _He couldn't leave things like this. In twelve years he had never seen her more broken than she had looked out in the parking lot. _I can't leave things like this._

**_

* * *

_Please review/comment! Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6 Move Along

**Another update? What? Yeah, this is what happens when I'm sick and I stay home from school. I actually like this one, especially the Azzie stuff going on.**

**NOTE TO READER: Notice this is Chapter 6, I updated earlier in the day with a very short Chapter 5. If you haven't read that yet, you should read it first!**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

_So a day when you've lost yourself completely _

_Could be a night when your life ends _

_Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving_

_All the pain held in your _

_Hands are shaking cold _

_Your hands are mine to hold _

_Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong _

_Move along, move along like I know you do_

_And even when your hope is gone _

_Move along, move along _

_Just to make it through _

_Move along._

_-Move Along by The All-American Rejects_

Derek was smiling.

He had been honest, truthful, to Addison. Now was his chance to tell her how much he just wanted to start over. Tell her that he had made mistakes, too, and now it was their chance to be happy. When he walked into the locker room, there she would be, at her locker looking for her spare set of keys. They would be alone, they could talk, he would take her home and they would start over.

The halls were silent, a sure sign that he would be alone with her in the locker room. He pushed open the door and there she was...

Not Addison, Meredith.

He immediately diverted his eyes and scowled. That was not who he was looking for.

Meredith had been seated on the bench by her locker, it's door open. She had used a ponytail holder from her locker to pull her hair back and now held in her hand a ratty tissue stained black from her makeup. Her back was to the door, but upon hearing the door open and break the silence, she had turned her head around.

"Go away, Derek!" She bawled, quickly whipping her head back around and reverting her gaze to the bench

"Meredith," He began, "I didn't come here to see you." Well, it was true; He had come to see Addison, but taking a look around, he realized that the two of them were definitely alone. And he would not give her the satisfaction of just turning and walking out. He had tried that before, and it hadn't worked so well.

"Derek, I don't want to talk to you! Just go home!" She retorted, applying the well-worn tissue once again to her eyes. Sighing and closing the door behind him, he came and sat a few feet from her on the bench. He was sure that Addison would appear at any moment, and he needed to be here.

"Mer, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, and...and, I don't know what else to say. We both screwed up this time." He folded his hands and dropped his head. He had been more truthful in one night than he had been in the last 10 months.

"Yeah, yeah we did." Meredith agreed, turning now to face him. "I'm sorry, Derek. For screwing up your marriage, your life."

He couldn't help but chuckle. Somebody was being a little too honest. "It wasn't you, who screwed up my marriage. That was my fault, and Addison's fault. I should have told you sooner about her, before she showed up. It was wrong of me to keep that from you. I'm the one that should be apologizing. I'm the one who screwed up your life, Mer. And," He glanced again around the locker room, although he already knew they were alone, "I take it Finn wasn't too happy about our mistake."

Meredith tossed the tissue into the trash can nearby. "No, he wasn't. He broke up with me, and I feel awful."

"Did you love him?" Derek asked, brining his eyes up to meet hers.

"Yeah, I _do_." A smile broke across her face, as if she just found out herself for the first time. Derek smiled back and offered a hand on hers. "Then tell him. That's the only thing you can do. You have to be honest with the ones you love. Maybe you can start over."

"You think?" She asked, taken aback by the fact that he was offering relationship advice that had nothing to do with him.

"Yeah, at least, I hope so."

-----

As the last couples dispersed from the prom, Richard Webber sighed. It had been one hell of a night, and he couldn't wait to get home. A lone member of the janitorial staff began picking up half-empty cups of juice and placing them in a black garbage bag.

"Looks like a big job for one guy." Richard said, walking over to the man and placing his own empty cup into the bag. The janitor only laughed at this and continued with the clean-up. Glancing around the room, Richard perceived the sheer size of the mess that was the lobby of his usually spotless hospital. One man would not be able to clean that up himself.

"I'm going to go over to the Emergency center and grab some help for you, okay?"

"Oh, thank you, sir. That would be great." The man, whose badge read "Chuck", replied. He smiled as he picked up a balled-up napkin from the floor.

As he made his way towards the ER, the DJ rolled his cart of equipment towards the automatic doors. "You did a very fine job, sir," Richard told him motioning to the make-shift stage where the rest of the speakers still stood.

"Thanks, Chief," The DJ replied, "It was a really nice dance. Your niece, she's one lovely lady. Beautiful speech she gave out there."

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" He paused as he recalled what she had said, "Well, goodnight. Thanks again."

The man rolled the cart through the door and yelled over his shoulder, "No problem!"

-----

The lights in the house were still off, all except for the one above the stove, as Alex stirred a packet of instant cocoa into a mug of hot water. He had led Izzie upstairs and pulled out a pair of Strawberry Shortcake pajamas for her to change into, and now he was downstairs preparing cocoa for the two of them. He was throwing away the empty packages when she appeared around the corner, leaning against the doorframe.

"Cocoa?" She asked tentatively, arms folded across her chest.

He picked up the two brimming mugs and walked slowly past her towards the living room. She had apparently washed her face and was looking much better than she had in hours. "Yeah," He told her, "My secret recipe. Don't tell."

When normally she would have laughed at this, she instead simply smiled. He smiled back, just happy that she was amused. A small bit splashed out onto his foot and he cursed. _That_ made her laugh.

"It's okay, it was mine anyways." He assured her, placing both steaming mugs onto the coffee table and sitting on the couch. The streetlight provided the only light in the room, just enough so that one could see outlines and shapes. Alex motioned for Izzie to join him on the couch as he leaned to grab his cocoa. She plodded over and picked up her cocoa, tucking her foot underneath her as she sat down.

The two sipped and slurped their "secret recipe" cocoa in silence.

Alex was learning to love it.

-----

Richard entered the Emergency Room, relatively quiet for this time at night. He approached the nurse's station near the ambulance bay and leaned over the counter. A small receptionist, intently filling out paperwork, ignored him and kept about her work. He cleared his throat and she looked up, an expression of contempt painted across her face.

"Is the prom over, sir?" She asked, obviously bitter that she had to work instead of going to the dance. She placed her pen down next the forms and folded her hands.

"Uh, yes it is." He was surprised. He was the Chief. People didn't normally talk to him like that. Maybe she was new. "Actually, that's why I'm here. Do you have any extra janitorial staff on hand that I might borrow? I've only got one man on tonight."

The girl looked even more indignant and called out behind her, "Cindy? Can you come here a moment? The Chief of Surgery has a question he needs help with." _Okay, so she knew who I was..._

A tall brunette came over, wearing green scrubs and a lab coat. There was no need to look at her badge; He knew immediately that she was Dr. Cinthia Blanchard, an ER attending who wasn't particularly a fan of his. She approached him and spoke, "Good evening, Doctor Webber. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Yes, Doctor Blanchard. I only have one member of my janitorial staff working tonight and I have quite the mess to clean up. I noticed it was slow. Would you please allow me to borrow one of yours?" He enjoined her.

"No problem, sir."

From behind them, Richard could hear the radio to Rescue 7 click on and a buzz come from it which signaled an incoming emergency. Dr. Blanchard quickly stepped over to the radio and pressed the call button.

"Rescue 7, this is Seattle Grace, do you copy?"

There was another click and a woman's voice came over the speaker, "Yes, Seattle Grace, this is Rescue 7, we have a 3100, motor vehicle accident with injuries off 35th Avenue Southwest, it appears to be the result of a drunk driver. Two victims, have surgery on-hand. Do you copy?"

Dr. Blanchard pressed the button and looked up to Richard, "We copy. ETA?"

"Ten minutes." The woman's voice said.

Dr. Blanchard stood and looked at Richard. "You got people? We're short tonight, it's just me and Dr. Pichardo and two nurses."

This was not how he had imagined spending the rest of his night. "Of course. Send them in through surgery, we'll take care of it. And don't forget to send me some of your janitors."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, Dr. Webber." Dr. Blanchard replied, and she turned to walk off.

-----

The elevator read "4" when Miranda Bailey's pager went off. She leaned her head back. _Not. Now._

Three minutes later she was heading towards the locker room to change into her scrubs.

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**Oo! I'm getting excited! I can't wait to see what happens! Oh, wait, I know! Muahahaha! Please review and tell me what you think (and give me some suggestions too!) I love reviews - they're brain food!**


	7. Chapter 7 Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine

OK, here it is, Chapter 7! Thanks everyone for all your support and comments, I really do read them! You all are quite smart, I have to say, but I try my hardest to stay one step shead of you. 

This chapter is relatively short, and you may notice some errors due to the fact that I had to upload it from NotePad for some odd reason. I have also put this on TI, so if you wish, you can review there. Thanks!

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**Chapter 7 - "Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine"**

_We took a walk that night but it wasn't the same_

_We had a fight on the promenade out in the rain _

_She said she loved me but she had somewhere to go _

_She couldn't scream why I held her close _

_I swore I'd never let her go _

_Tell me what you wanna know _

_Oh come on, oh come on, oh come on _

_There ain't no motive for this crime _

_-Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine by The Killers_

Swinging the door open, two familiar faces turned to meet Dr. Bailey's.

"Miranda"

"Dr. Shepherd"

Bailey let the door close behind her and went over to her locker without saying another word.

Derek turned back to Meredith.

"We can talk more later, okay?" He rested his hand on her shoulder and stood, loosening his tie as he rounded to corner and approached Bailey.

"I'm not interested in explanations, Dr. Shepherd. I've got work to do." She told him without taking her eyes off her shoes, which she was currently removing and placing in her locker.

"I wasn't interested in explaining, Dr. Bailey," Derek retorted, "And you have the night off."

The situation was fast becoming uncomfortable, and Meredith rose to leave without being noticed. Unfortunately for her, Bailey's sense of hearing was as keen as ever.

"Don't go anywhere, Dr. Grey. We need you, too, even if you have acted incredibly stupid these last couple days." She called out. Meredith stopped and sighed, turning back around and walking to where she and Derek stood. She folded her arms and leaned sideways up against the row of lockers.

"Who need's 'us'?" Derek interrogated, furrowing his brow, "We all have the night off."

"We all had the night off," Bailey corrected him, pulling her light blue scrubs from a red bag in her locker, "Now, scoot, both of you, I have to change." Derek and Meredith went back to where they had been talking on the bench and both turned towards their lockers and began opening them.

"What is it?" Derek asked, shuffling through the mess that was his locker. He finally found some royal blue scrubs and pulled them to his nose, giving a nod of approval as he unbuttoned his tux shirt.

"Car accident. Some fool decided to get drunk and then drive. You two decent"

A half-hearted "Yes" of agreement sounded from both, and Bailey shut her locker and went towards the door. "I was looking for your wife. If you see her, let me know."

"I was doing the same thing." Derek replied. He pulled his jacket on, wrapped a stethoscope around his neck, and shut the locker. Bailey had already left, so he sat on the bench next to Meredith.

"I guess we really will have to talk later." He said softly and rubbed his hands over his tired eyes. The two stood and walked to the door but before Derek could open it, Meredith spoke.

"Thanks, Derek, for talking. Sometimes, you know, that's all I need."

-

"Oh, Chief, I didn't know you would be here." Bailey called out while tying on a yellow paper coverall as the tall man crossed into view. Richard, who up until that point had not noticed her, turned towards Bailey and began walking in her direction.

"Ah, Miranda, I was hoping you were still here when I paged you"

"Unfortunately, yes." She said in an aggravated tone, a nurse slipping some gloves on her outstretched hands. Richard picked up on the irritation in her voice. "Thanks, Miranda." He offered.

"Anytime, Chief, " Bailey sighed, "Where's the rest of the help."

Richard returned the sigh, "I don't know if there is any. I paged everyone, but you are the only one to show up."

"Actually," She deftly tied his coverall as she spoke, "Shepherd and Grey should be heading down soon. I saw them in the locker room." The two walked over to the automatic doors and stood in waiting together.

"Good, we need all the hel-" He was interrupted as George jogged up behind them.  
"Good evening Dr. Bailey, Chief." He addressed them, hands held slightly up in eager anticipation of the trauma that was about to arrive, as was obvious by the approaching sound of sirens.

"Ah, Dr. O'Malley, glad to see you here." Richard said as he turned to see the intern, "Where's Karev and Yang?"

"Uh, Dr. Yang is upstairs with Dr. Burke, and Dr. Karev went home with Dr. Ste...uh, Izzie." George responded, finishing with, "Cristina is gonna be so pissed she didn't get a surgery!" Footsteps fell behind the three doctors, and all three heads turned to see Callie walking briskly towards them. George looked apprehensively at her, but she tossed him a smile and he grinned back.

"ETA?" Callie asked as she peered over the heads of the doctors in from of her, searching for red and blue lights in the night. She didn't have to look far, as an ambulance raced up to the door and stopped directly in front of them.

Bailey inhaled deeply, "Now"

-

The siren screeched one final time as the brunette paramedic threw open the back doors of the ambulance and leaped out. She quickly swung around and, with the help of another paramedic still inside the ambulance, pulled out a stretcher as she announced everything she knew about the patient.

"Male, age 34, driver of a truck, victim of a head-on collision with a drunk driver on 35th Avenue Southwest. Truck rolled and landed upside-down. Female passenger coming in behind us in about two minutes. He was pulled out unconscious, possible back and chest injuries, difficulty breathing, multiple facial lacerations." Bailey and Richard came to either side of the gurney and pushed it inside as the paramedic finished presenting. A look of puzzlement flooded Bailey's face as she looked down at the bloody man.

"What is it, Miranda?" Richard asked her upon seeing her face change from its usual seriousness to a look that contained something like fear and recognition.

Bailey continued studying the man's face, his head compressed in between a neck immobilizer. His face was bloody to say the least, almost to the point of graphic, yet she felt as though she knew this man.

"Miranda!" Richard bellowed. She snapped out of it and looked up at him, her face barely changing expression. "Uh, O'Malley, come with us, Dr. Torres, can you stay and wait for the second victim?" She spoke, more of an order than a question. A general "sure" resounded to her directive, and George moved quickly to her side. More sirens were heard in the distance signaling that another ambulance would soon be arriving.

"Take him to Trauma 1, Bailey. Call me if you need anything." Richard said as he turned back to the doors to join Callie. Obviously sensing something was off with her, George questioned Bailey as they wheeled the stretcher into the trauma room.

"What is it, Dr. Bailey?" "O'Malley, look at this man's face. Does it seem, familiar?"

George moved his eyes from Bailey's worried expression down to the ensanguined face of the man they were treating. His heart began to pound as he realized that he too knew this man somehow. He glanced down the motionless figure, the blood clashing against the white of the sheets, and took in his clothing. Polished black shoes, a tux, a bowtie. He knew.

"Dr. Bailey, this is Finn."

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**So there you have it. Curious? Anxious? That was part of my plan ;)**


	8. Chapter 8 Always

**Okay, so this update took longer than I, or probably you, would have liked. I was having writer's block. But I finally got it, so here it is: Chapter 8! R&R Please!**

**Oh yeah, disclaimer, blah don't sue, blah, not mine, blah.**

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**Chapter 8 - "Always"**

_And I will love you baby always _

_And I'll be there forever and a day always _

_I'll be there till the stars don't shine _

_Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme _

_And I know when I die you'll be on my mind _

_And I'll love you always. _

_-Always by Bon Jovi_

_Dr. Bailey, this is Finn._

George felt what could only be his heart stopping. Finn had been at the prom with Meredith, and he hadn't seen either of them since he had followed Izzie to the parking lot. Where was Meredith? Breathing became foreign to him, and he told himself to just inhale and calm down. Everything would be just fine.

"O'Malley, get me an intubation kit," Bailey barked, professionally shoving aside her worry, "And, uh, call the Chief in here."

"But he was waiti-" George was interrupted as he reached for the sterile blue bag that held the life-saving tube.

"I _know _what he said, O'Malley, just get him!"

George rushed out of the room and sprinted the few feet to the ambulance bay. His panic about Meredith's whereabouts still lingered in his mind. He thought about the paramedic's words. _Female passenger coming in behind us in about two minutes._ His paranoia was justifiable. The what-ifs rushed through his head faster than he could even process them, but it only took him a moment to reach the place where Callie and the Chief were standing, awaiting the next victim.

He approached out of breath, but oddly composed for the mental state he was in. "Dr. Webber, Dr. Bailey needs you in Trauma 1. It's Finn Dandridge, sir, Meredith's boyfriend." Just saying it made his heart race faster still.

"Dammit. Dr. Torres, will you stay here? I'll send Bailey back." Callie nodded her head in agreement. Sure, she had never been a fan of Meredith, but she was George's best friend. The anxiety her chest now carried was indescribable, more for George than anyone else.

When George and Richard slammed through the doors to Trauma 1, the bloody scene laid out before them forced them into full-on doctor mode. Richard quickly began helping Bailey with the intubation, which wasn't going well at all.

"He's locked up, sir." Bailey informed her superior, a sound of helplessness in her voice.

"His stats are dropping, doctor." A nearby nurse notified, a sound of quick beeping deluging from the monitor.

Richard didn't take pause, but expertly called for a 10-blade, "We need to give him a chest tube. Bailey, go wait with Dr. Torres, we need you there."

Bailey thought once about protesting, but instead nodded in approval and threw down her gloves as she exited the room. George began to speak, but was stopped once again.

"No, O'Malley, I need you here. I need that 10-blade. Now."

-----

"Dr. Bailey, I heard that the male victim was Finn. I...I..." Callie found herself at a loss for words as the short woman jogged over to her. Her face was damp and flushed, and under different circumstances Callie would have thought she was sick. Bailey didn't even have the time to respond as the second ambulance came racing to the doors, the sirens wailing and the blue lights highlighted against the black backdrop of the night sky. The large vehicle backed up hastily to the doors and once again the back swung open, spilling out its very own paramedic clad in a uniform of blue and white.

The paramedic leapt from the back of the ambulance and, like the paramedic before her, began spouting off a very quick and basic run-through of the patient's status. Callie spotted a splash of crimson on the uniform of the EMT before she swung her back towards her to pull the patient out of the vehicle. Bailey breathed deeply and craned her neck to see a first glimpse at the woman on the stretcher.

"Female passenger, mid- to late-thirties, no I.D., pulled out of car with Jaws Of Life, wearing seatbelt, no apparent spinal injur..." Her words trailed off, at least for Miranda Bailey. The stretcher made a crunching sound as its wheels smacked gently down on the pavement. The red dress. She felt in an instant her knees go weak as she realized that the unidentified female passenger was none other than Addison Shepherd.

-----

No one except for Derek heard Meredith's giggle and the ding signaling their arrival at the Trauma Center as the two stepped off of the elevator. Commotion was laid out before them, and immediately Meredith's laughter subsided. Her walking slowed, and Derek became aware that something was wrong.

"What is it, Meredith?" He asked, throwing her a sideways look as he continued moving at his normal, brisk pace. Her footsteps fell back into rhythm with his as she answered, "Oh, uh, nothing, I just had this, I don't know, funny feeling. We better get over there." They approached Trauma 1 and inside they could see George and Chief Webber hovering over a man in the middle, a nurse rushing around the room grabbing things as they ordered for them. George turned his head, peering over his shoulder, and caught sight of Meredith heading towards the door. He said her name, perhaps out loud, and ran to the door, pushing it open with his elbows. Derek brushed past him and ran to Richard's side. Meredith could see him look at the man whose face she still couldn't see and then raise his eyes to meet the Chief's. She knew Derek was all about being professional, but the look he gave the Chief was way too personal for her liking.

"George, what's going on in there?" Meredith tried to piece things together while interrogating George, whose face was nothing like Derek's at the moment. George looked relieved and, dare she say it, happy. In her stomach arose the feeling that she had while stepping off the elevator moments before, verifying that something was wrong. Derek looked up at her as the Chief spoke to him. She began to enter the room, but George stretched out his arm, blocking her way. Inside she could hear talking.

"...a female passenger...thought it was Meredith...O'Malley, keep her out of here..."

As he struggled to keep Meredith back, George found himself running through the whatifs again. Luckily for him, Derek came over to Meredith to move her out of the room and he found his chance to move across the hall to Trauma 2.

Meredith fought Derek to stay. She wasn't stupid, and if Derek thought he was keeping her back to keep her from finding out that the man was Finn, it was him who wasn't being rational. Crying while being pushed backwards, Meredith finally stopped and yelled, "Just let me see him! Dammit, Derek, I know who it is!"

He shhhed her and pulled her in for an embrace, instead being repelled. His own confusion turned to panic as he saw George come out of Trauma 2 and walk deliberately towards them, obviously very shaken up. Meredith finally gave in and leaned against the wall, sliding herself down and crying into her fists.

"O'Malley, tell me what's going on." Derek demanded. From behind him, he could hear the Chief calling for George to get back in there.

"Goddammit, O'Malley, what the hell is going on?" The anger rose in his voice and he had to fight the urge to shake an answer out of the frightened intern. George stammered but turned back to Trauma 1, only telling him that Bailey didn't want him in there. He disappeared and the doors swung behind him, letting out the sound of fast beeps from the monitor.

-----

Derek headed straight to Trauma 2. He knew Miranda Bailey, and although they had their differences, he also knew that she would never deny his help unless there was a damn good reason to. He threw open the door. His eyes moved from the back of Dr. Torres' head, to the small pool of blood on the floor, to the monitor that was frantically alerting them to a drop in the patient's vitals. Bailey turned to him and yelled for him to stay out, or else.

And then his eyes moved from her face to the hand dangling off the side of the table. It had on a wedding ring he knew all too well. Suddenly, he knew exactly how Meredith felt.

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**So there you have it! Comment and I will love you forever and ever!**


	9. Chapter 9 Pain

**Well, I didn't leave you hanging too long! I had a lot of extra time this weekend, so here it is, Chapter 9!**

**I have had a few questions about what the Jaws of Life are, as refered to in the last chapter. The Jaws of Life is a nickname for a hydraulic metal cutter used by firemen and firerescue, often to extract victims of car accidents. Since they don't have to be used often, generally only one "pair" is owned by an entire county in the United States.**

**Disclaimer: Don't sue me, please, because they aren't mine. I wish they were, but they aren't.****

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**Chapter 9**

_I never thought I'd walk away from you. _

_I did. _

_But it's a false sense of accomplishment. _

_Every time I quit anyone can see my every flaw. _

_It isn't hard. _

_Anyone can say they're above this all. _

_It takes my pain away. _

_-Pain by Jimmy Eat World_

Derek's stomach went sick and he suddenly had the overwhelming urge to vomit. The room spun, the lights got brighter, and his face felt like it had just been introduced to the inside of a very hot oven. The monitor continued its fast rouse for attention, the nurse calling out words that sounded strange and foreign to Derek. _Am I still standing here?_ He asked himself, grabbing the frame of the doorway, either for reassurance, or for stability.

"Dr. Torres, can you please go quickly and get the Chief for me, and take his place with George?" Bailey asked, gently but with direction. Callie nodded in approval, dropping on the floor between her feet a handful of bloodied gauze. She pulled off her gloves as she neared the door, and sequentially Derek. Her eyes met his for a moment before being returned to the tile. That laconic look, not even plausibly measured in time, told Derek everything he needed to know.

-----

Izzie had long since fallen asleep, her hands still gripping the empty mug of cocoa, when Alex finally stood. He wavered a bit when the blood rushed back into his left leg that had lazily been propped on the coffee table. Slowly regaining his balance, he turned back to face the couch and peered down on Izzie. Her mouth was agape just a half inch or so, a piece of hair fallen in her face. Alex brushed the hair back behind her ear, letting his thumb linger a moment on her cheek. He finally moved his hand down to hers, and trying to not wake her up, gently peeled each of her fingers from the handle of the mug. At last it was free and he took the two mugs to the kitchen.

As he turned on the water, slowly enough so that he wouldn't wake Izzie, his pager beeped loudly on the counter behind him. After muttering a low curse under his breath, he turned sharply and grabbed the gadget trying his best to silence it. A moan from the living room let him know that it was too late and that despite all his efforts to keep her sleeping, he failed. The display flashed "911" and, after muttering another curse, he walked to the wall to grab the phone.

"What is it?" Izzie appeared in the doorway, rubbing her eyes groggily and yawning. She decided to seat herself right there on the kitchen floor, and yawned again as she was finally rested on the floor. Alex threw her a smile that expressed his apologies for waking her as he grabbed the phone.

"Guess we're about to find out." The phone rang only once as Alex tapped a pencil he had found on the counter against its corner in bored anticipation. Izzie watched as he talked, first agreeing, throwing around a lot of "okay"s, one "calm down", and lastly, an "I'll be there as soon as I can". Though she wouldn't admit it, the last part disappointed her a bit, and she sighed so that he wouldn't hear. The phone beeped as it was hung up, and Alex turned to the barstool to grab his coat. Walking over to where Izzie was sitting, he reached out a hand to help her up. She couldn't help but notice that his hand lacked its usual strong grip and his brow was like a window to his innermost worry. Something was up.

Wrapping one arm around her waist to guide her up the stairs, Alex tried to wrap his mind around what he had just been told before Izzie could grill him about the emergency phone call at, wait, what time was it? When they had reached the landing at the top of the stairs, Alex pushed the backlight button on his watch and saw that the time was nearing 12:30 in the morning. Entering the bedroom, Izzie finally began her pursuit of information.

"So, where are you going?" She asked, sitting on the edge of her bed and motioning for Alex to join her. He didn't accept her invitation, and looked her in the eye to tell her there was an accident and that he needed to go to the hospital. He squeezed her shoulder and headed for the door.

"Alex, tell me what's going on. If it was just an accident, you wouldn't be going. What is it?" Izzie demanded, tears threatening to spill if he continued walking. Alex sensed her worry and turned around to her. Luckily, she was still sitting.

"Iz, the accident, it was bad. It..it...was Finn and Addison."

-----

"He needs surgery, now!" Exclaimed Richard, just in time for Callie to hear as she came bursting in through the doors to Trauma 1.

"Chief, Bailey needs you in Trauma 2, now." Callie said, throwing George a sideways glance.

"Well, tell Bailey I need her in here! This man has a collapsed lung and God knows what else, and she's going to have to help me on this surgery!" Richard proclaimed loudly in bold protest to Callie's message.

Callie sighed and shut her eyes to compose herself, but quickly reciprocated with, "Yes, sir, but you are _really_ needed in Trauma 2. Sir, it's...it's, uh, Addison Shepherd." At this, he stopped what he was doing and roared, "What?", knowing well what she had said. He tore off his gloves and raced out of the room.

Running into Derek was the last thing that Richard expected as he entered Trauma 2. Pulling on a new pair of gloves, he rushed to Addison's side. Her neck was in a brace, her hair spilled across the white sheet, and her eyes remained closed. A thick trail of blood ran down the side of her forehead from a deep cut that began somewhere in her scalp and ran down close to her right eyebrow. An oxygen mask obscured his view of her mouth and jaw. All this he took in what could only have been a couple seconds, because he set to work right away.

Still standing by the door, not having moved from his position for the last five minutes or so, Derek finally spoke. "Chief?" Was all he said.

Richard looked up at him, "Derek, son, get out of here. You can't help right now."

As if he had never heard the words, Derek spoke again, "Is..is, is she alright? What's wrong?" He wasn't answered, because the monitor began to beep violently once again. He took one step closer and ran his hand through his hair before letting it rest on his mouth.

Bailey leaned down to the unconscious redhead, looking at her as though she was locking eyes with her, had hers only been open. She grabbed her left hand and squeezed it, gripping it tight as she said, "Addison? Addison, sweetie, can you hear me? Come one, squeeze my hand. Please, Addison." Derek was sure he had never heard Miranda Bailey say please to anyone, with perhaps the exception of the Chief. He saw the reflection of light from her wedding ring, the cut that stretched like something from a movie across the back of her hand, and he saw no response. Bailey exchanged a worried look with the Chief, still holding onto her hand.

Richard bit his lip and looked down at the woman he considered his daughter's face, and finally announced, "Take her to CT."

-----

Ironically enough, at the very same time, Callie was at the front of the stretcher that carried Finn Dandridge, George behind pushing it. The four doctors met in the hallway, adrenaline pumping through their veins. Richard motioned for Callie and Bailey to change places, and they did after Bailey had given Addison's hand a final squeeze. She took Finn, along with George, into an elevator up to the OR floor. The Chief and Callie pushed Addison into an elevator, too, and all the doors finally closed.

The only person left standing in front of the elevator doors was one Dr. Derek Shepherd.

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**Okay, so it's kinda another cliffhanger. Really, don't you just expect that now? R & R PLEASE!**


	10. Chapter 10 Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

**I know, don't even say it. It's been forever. I can't even believe that I found the time to write this. Basically it all boils down to "I hate school". I've had the first half of this extremely short update on my comuter for like 2 months now and just never finished it. But I like where it's going. So without further ado...Chapter 10**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.

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**Chapter 10**

_Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing _

_You believed in superstitions _

_Then maybe you'd see the signs_

_-Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson_

Derek stood alone, silent, unmoving, an ache somewhere deep in his gut. What was worse, he couldn't seem to wake up.

He had the primal urge to feverishly push the '"up" button, to follow his wife, to hold her hand. He hadn't even been able to touch her. He had stood frozen at the very sight of blood encroaching her still face, her limp hand still bearing the sign of her devotion which, as he glanced down at his own quivering hand, was unmistakably missing from his. There was nothing he could do now; Bailey wouldn't let him within ten feet of her now, and waiting emerged as his only option. A soft whimper sounded from where he had just been, and it suddenly dawned on him that Meredith still sat waiting in the hallway.

He approached the slumped, black figure, her knees to her chest and her face concealed by her mousy-brown hair. She was no longer crying, but rather sniffling and sucking in deep, short bursts of air with her eyes fixed straight ahead. He kneeled next to her, "Mere,".

Her eyes shifted to his and he could see they were still glassy and red, her face sticky and flushed from the crying. She tucked her hair behind her ear with a shaky hand and wetted her drying lips, sniffling again.

"It's bad, Derek...he's hurt b-bad." She stuttered because the tears materialized again in her eyes at the thought. He pulled her into an embrace, feeling nothing other than the comfort of someone who felt the same pain as himself. No words came, and even as he tried an "I know", his lips barely moved. After a moment spent like that, she sensed his reaction was off. He wasn't acting like he was sorry, and even worse, she didn't _feel_ he was sorry.

"Derek, what's wrong? Oh no...he's not...something didn't happen? Oh God," She pulled away and looked him in the eye. No sign of tears. His face wasn't stoic, either. It was indescribable, a look she had never before seen, and she couldn't help but expect the worst from it.

"No. No, it's not that," He breathed deep. He knew that once she had said all she knew out loud the tears had come, and he wasn't prepared for that quite yet, "There were two people in the car. Meredith, it's Addison." He surprised himself when he didn't cry. In fact, the tone in his voice never even changed. _Maybe this is what shock feels like_, he considered. He felt her hand squeeze his and as he lifted his gaze, he caught her crying again. _She's crying for me_, he told himself, _why can't I do the same?_ She said nothing, the only exception being what was said through her sympathy, and together they rose to go wait in some other place.

-----

_40 minutes later_

Meredith's head slumped against a pillow a nurse had provided her, with her body turned sideways and her legs thrown over the adjoin chair to hers. She and Derek had made their way to the waiting room, both silent since their ascension from the Trauma ward. He leaned his face into both hands, elbows resting on his knees, and he looked over at the sleeping woman just four seats away. Her face was anything but peaceful, but he was nonetheless glad that she was resting. An elderly couple with a young boy next to them sat across the room with worried expressions. Everyone was waiting for news, hopefully the kind that would bring relief, and Derek finally understood what the families of his patients felt while he was in surgery. Footsteps broke the silence and four eager heads turned to the surgical ward. Bailey emerged and Derek gently shook Meredith's shoulder to awaken her. She awoke quickly and brought herself to a seated position just in time for Bailey's approach.

"How...how is he? Is everything OK?" Meredith begged, desperation in her voice. Bailey placed a comforting hand on Meredith's knee and looked the young intern in the eye.

"There was a lot of damage, a lot of bleeding, but he's stable right now. So far it looks like the damage was contained to his chest, so he's got a good chance of pulling through this, Meredith. He's got a couple more hours of surgery ahead of him, but get your rest and let me worry about that, you hear me?" Bailey's expression was stern, like a mother lecturing her young child, but still holding a deep sense of compassion. Meredith wiped some more tears from her eyes and nodded, thanking her mentor. Bailey smiled and stood, but was cut short of her return to the OR when Derek spoke.

"How's Addison? Have you heard anything?" His voice nearly cracking, Bailey turned slowly around and breathed in deeply. She returned to the seat she had just risen from and rested her hands on her knees. She had hoped the question wouldn't be asked even though her expectations proved correct. The truth was, she had no information despite her eagerness to hear some good news about her friend.

"I don't know, Derek. I haven't heard anything. But you have to believe in those two extremely talented surgeons that are in there saving her life right now, exactly like how everyone of us believed in you to save Burke's arm. And you have to believe in Addison, because we both know that she does not give up a fight easily. That's all you can do, Derek. Pray, hope and believe."

With that she stood and walked back to where she had come from, patting his shoulder as she passed. As her words sunk in, Derek once again buried his face into his hands, this time allowing himself to sob. Meredith put her hand on his back and cried and together they hoped for the best. That was all they could do.

-----

Alex rushed into the lobby of Seattle Grace, it's walls containing an eerie silence so different from the scene he had fled hours earlier. His sneaker squeaked as he jogged up the stairs and pushed the button to summon the elevator. Ten minutes later, he found himself scrubbing into one surgery he actually hadn't hoped for.

-----

_25 minutes later_

The hands of the clock on the waiting room wall were just a black and white blur to Derek, whose eyes were clouded from his recent lack of sleep. Even with the extreme fatigue he was feeling, he knew there was no way that he could possibly have fallen asleep. The elderly couple that sat across the somber room has risen to follow a nurse to the recovery area, where their loved one was soon to be waking from surgery. The nurse bearing the news has apparently mastered the art of delivering the word on a patient's status softly, because even in the unearthly silence that pervaded every space in the room, Derek could hear nothing of what was being said. Body language let him know that it was decidedly good news, however, and the commonplace family had vanished out of sight.

_Tick. Tick._

The pulse of the clock reminded Derek that time was indeed moving forward, perhaps despite its attempts to make him think otherwise. _Relativity of time, _He thought, _I finally understand what Einstein was talking about. _The seat was far less comfortable than one could imagine it being, the room's temperature was nearly unbearable, and the silence...that silence. It was deafening. Soon, however, it was broken and time moved forward faster than even Einstein himself could have imagined.

The easily recognizable sigh of the Chief shook Derek out of his reverie and made his heart pump rapidly. _What if I don't want to hear what he is going to say? _Richard sat next to him but away from Meredith, trying his best not to awaken the slumbering girl. It was far too notable that Derek was a wreck, to say the least. There was never any pleasure that could be gained in informing a family that their loved one was badly injured, but this particular occasion took much more out of Richard Webber than any case he could remember from the last decade, if not longer. He allowed another sigh to escape before beginning.

"Derek, Derek, son, look at me" When he noticed that Derek hadn't raised his head yet, he allowed his hand, full of strength and skill, to gently rest on Derek's back, not unlike a father's would. This caught Derek's attention and he met his gaze with teary eyes.

"Derek, it's going to be okay. She was wearing her seatbelt, which saved her life. She's got a pretty bad gash on her forehead, but there weren't any signs of head trauma other than a concussion on the CT. It looks like most of the trauma was contained to her lower body..." But his words trailed off once Derek began crying into his palms. Richard reached into the pocket of his scrubs and removed a white gold diamond ring and held it in front of the weeping man. As if sensing its presence in front of him, Derek wiped away the tears, dried his hands on his pants, and took the ring.

Able to sense that it was now okay to continue, the Chief continued, "Like I said, most of the trauma was to her lower extremities. Her pelvic CT showed an AP Compression with a pelvic hemorrhage, which explained her sudden drop in blood pressure in the trauma center. Dr. Torres is working on inserting some pins and plates in her pelvis and right femur right now, and Karev and I are suturing a small portion of her small intestine that was damaged from the pelvic fracture. She's lucky, Derek. You and I both know how much worse that could have been. Just a little time in the hospital and some physical therapy and she'll be Addison again in no time." The words, though carrying a scary message, gave Derek a wonderful sense of relief, the kind he had prayed for the whole night.

The Chief walked briskly away back towards the OR and Derek stared at the ring that he clutched in his hand.

Tonight his prayers had been answered.

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**There you have it. Sorry it was so short and it took so long. I will try my hardest for another update soon, but no promises...R & R though, please!**


	11. Chapter 11 One Together

**Here it is, another update!**

**Disclaimer - Not mine, don't sue.

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Chapter 11

_How can my heart be filled with doubts of you _

_When you can fill me with a love that's true _

_But I can't help but sigh, _

_And sometimes wonder why _

_What can I do I want to see you more and more each day _

_I really need you, you're my only way_

_-One Together by Fleetwood Mac_

_1 hour 16 minutes later..._

Derek tapped, then shook Meredith's shoulder, watching her head roll to the side and hang limply before finally waking up.

"Meredith" He quietly told her as she opened her eyes, although he wasn't why he was whispering since they were the only two occupying the waiting room, "Addison is out of surgery, I'm going to the ICU and wait with her while she wakes up."

Meredith nodded approval to his statement. "Have you heard any more about Finn?" She asked him despite her being quite sure that he wouldn't have simply let her sleep through any important updates. Derek shook his head in response with an air of guilt as though he was in some way responsible for her lack of information on the subject. It had been only a minute or two since Alex Karev had sighed his way into the lonely room so full of angst and hope to let him know that Addison was being moved to the ICU for recovery after a very successful surgery. Great epiphanies usually came to Derek Shepherd in the hospital, so it didn't surprise him in the least when one occurred tonight. _A lot of sighing goes on in this hospital_. An epiphany or not, the thought was one which Derek inwardly chastised himself for not realizing such an easy observation prior to the night's events. In any case, he turned and headed in the direction of his destination.

An eerie stillness was settled about the typically bustling and hurried hallways. the irony, of course, was that more drama had unfolded in one evening than had in the past month (to be generous in the estimate). Knowing full and well the Chief's obsession with scheduling, Derek was certain that the nest topic of discussion between the two was likely to be how utterly disastrous the night had become, even with all the thoughtful planning.

Fingering the small ring in his pocket, Derek felt his stomach tighten and get nervous as he neared the ICU's recovery unit. Silence had always unsettled his stomach and adding in such a powerful emotion as fear and the know that had formed was nearly unbearable.

_3 more steps..._

What would she look like? Could he handle it?

_2 more steps..._

What if they hadn't caught everything? How long would it take her to wake up?

_1 more step..._

What if she was in pain? How long would it take her to recover?

The blinds that hung inside the glass that separated her room from the nurses' deck, appropriately placed within full view of the rooms containing the most volatile of patients, were closed and the door was open. Derek was quick to note that the room to the left was none other than that of Denny Duquette. A feeling hung around the now-empty room, a feeling of tears and disappointment. He was sure, despite not knowing the deceased patient, that the story that preceded that hung-over spirit was worth hearing. Just, not now. Now there were other things to focus on.

The beep from inside the room Derek couldn't seem to enter was nothing alarming. Steady, strong and textbook. it provided at least some relief on the conscious level, but for some reason he was still unable to get his feet to move to the place where his heart already was; Eager, yet untrusting. At last, Derek fought off his emotions and stepped inside.

Richard sat with his back to him, one fist propping up his lethargic head and the other holding Addison's hand; A hand that was noticeably lacking its certain usual ornament. Looking beyond the Chief, Derek turning his gaze to his wife, whose deep slumber looked far more restful and convincing that Meredith's. She was no longer hooked up to oxygen, with the exception of the tube resting between her nose and upper lip. It came as another reassuring sign that she was doing well. The hand Richard clasped was bandaged and his mind wandered back to the gash he had seen hours earlier as he had stood dumbfounded and bewildered in the trauma room. Despite having sheets on top of her, it was obvious that there were many bandages around her legs. Many wires and tubes crept from under the sheets and her hand visibly sported an IV. Unlike earlier in the evening, no red hair spilled onto the pillow. This time, her head was had been expertly dressed to cover the nasty wound he had also seen earlier in the evening.

The monitor continued in its rhythmic beep, the IV in its steady drip, and a clock on the wall's reliable second hand ticked and tocked, yet again proving that time was passing. After a few seconds, Richard noticed his presence and stood slowly, walking towards the man who was standing frozen in both time and place.

"She's lucky, Derek," He said, voice full of fatherly confidence and reassurance, "It's your turn. Make up for whatever you've done. Be there for her."

Derek responded only with his teary eyes, and getting the picture, the Chief left shutting the door behind himself. He slowly made his was to her side and the now unoccupied seat. Looking at her fragile face and gripping her cold hand, he thought about how she had been trying despite never getting anything in return. yes, she was torn and he was the one to blame. All he could think about was how lucky _he_ was to get another chance to make it up to her, and maybe, just maybe, put the pieces back together, too.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the ring and slipped it on her finger, allowing himself to drop his head and sigh along with the rest of the hospital.

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**R& R Please!**


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